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04 November 2007 @ 10:06 pm
One story of me...  
For everyone who want to read it...
one of my stories...

Title: So strange to be home!
Author: Key
Rating: R
Archive: sure, but mail me first, if you really want
Band/Pairing: not really one, it's pure Mana-sama
Comment: These idea just popped up in my mind and I don't know why, but it was the Day when I was so near to met Mana-sama, I mean if I had been just one week later at my parents, I would met HIM! I could have met HIM! My dear Mana-sama...
It's just incredibly, when Bloody told me, I sobbed so hard, I cried so much, just one dammed week! Just 150 fucking kilometers. That's not fair. That's simply not fair! And this news on my birthday, I guess I never cried that much on a birthday before...

Ok, I had to stop sulking, soon he will be here for a concert, I'm sure!^_^

edit: I saw Mana-sama 4 times now, 3 times live and 1 time at a meet and greet ^_^ but still, I could have met him at that day, more private...

now please enjoy this Mana POV

So strange to be home!

When was the last time I was home?
I mean, really home!

It's strange.

Actually what is home?

Is it the place where you were born and raised up, where you live or where you're friends are?

Maybe every part of it, maybe every part of it means home.

My friends, they are rare but they're important, being with them is important and I treasure the time I share with them.

Where I live. A place just to be me. Everything is at his place. I can do whatever I like. If I want I could just ran around naked and scream my lungs out. But I would never ever do such thing.

It's not my style. But I feel secure, I'm safe.

I can be all alone, working: composing, designing, or just watching my beloved old horror movies, playing video games, listening to music.

That's my home.

But then there is this area where I was born, where my parents raised me up.

I'm not that often here. I have just no time.

Now that I decided to go to Europe. France in last summer and at fall I was in Germany.

Just I alone, not the band, but soon I'll be there with my musicians.

It's great to see how the fans love me, care for me, everybody want me!

I would like to be there for all of them, but that means less time, no chances to visit places like the one I'm now.

New places, but no homes!

I'm at my beginning.

I'm walking along the roads I once knew very well.

But so much changed.

New houses, former public gardens are now properties of some unknown stranger, knowing nothing at all.

Even the road is a new one, they told me it was made years ago, I was even here when they ripped it open. I simply ignored it, don't want it to happen.

In my memories my former little world never changed at all.

Just looking at a tree tells me another story.

I remember a time, when the tree beside me barely reached my shoulder. Now he is four or five times higher than me!

Am I really that old by now or is everything just changing too fast?

I guess it's both.

Being here, being at the place you know when you were young is just strange.

You are realizing how much you changed yourself.

It's even worse if you're a celebrity.

Certainly on every little computer of my fans are pictures of me 12 years ago.

It was a shock when I saw them the last time and then seeing my actual shooting in the "Gothic & Lolita Bible".

You're never realizing the changes if you're not looking back sometimes.

Most of the times I don't want to.

Yes, back to ancient time, back to the times of old Europe.

How great it was to actually being at the places I read so much about.

When I was Young, when I just find out about this world out there, I dreamed about being there. Sometimes I even wished that I was born there.

Not seriously, I mean I was never serious about it. I love the area around here far too much.

I really do.

I never realized it before.

This feeling I get every time I'm here. A kind of connection.

These flashes of memories. Memories of childhood. Happening many, many years ago.

Not always good ones, because you'll remember sad events, you'll remember loosings, hurtful things.

There always be things like that, beside the nice ones, just these let you treasure the good ones.

I always want to know about human nature.

This one part I already find out.

Memories and home are two of the most important things for humans.

For me they are.

I care for all my memories and all my homes.

I love to be with my friends,
I love to be alone in my apartment,
I love to be at the place I grew up.

I love to be home.

Being home is just strange.

As strange as human nature.

It's strange to be home!

Current Location: home
Current Music: GPKISM - thanatosis
tarariri on November 5th, 2007 03:30 am (UTC)
He-he I can relate. I don't get to go home that often and the disparity between the familiar and the new is always befuddling.

Will you upload some GPKISM somewhere --> like, megaupload, or sendspace, or some such? --> you've been mentioning them enough to make me curious.
keykeyjahn on November 5th, 2007 03:34 am (UTC)
it where my feelings, when i was at my grandparents...
i grew up there and was often there in the holiday..

uhm I can't upload it...

nothing official released...
but you can listen on myspace


DeusssExMachinadeusssexmachina on November 28th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
Oh lovely... I saw this in the Mana fanfiction ages back, but I never realized it was written by you...
keykeyjahn on November 28th, 2008 03:57 pm (UTC)

yes, written by me...
sadly I have to much to do to continue my other ff...

but maybe I'll release the 1st part of "no doll"...raikoala liked it a lot